Most guys have suffered after being delivered a line containing the word “friend” or similar from a woman with whom they wanted to partner. The dreaded friendzone is a very sensitive topic to most of them and it has been talked about in a variety of articles, posts and whatnot in the Internet. Yet, this post isn’t about that.
I want to stress the importance friendship plays in a relationship, either factual or potential. I know most guys would react to a post like this with a sense of scorn or pity, when they wouldn’t react with a crafted response about the impossibility of friendship in the context of a romantic-sexual relationship, but I don’t feel I would be true to myself if I remained silent about what I believe to be a key to such bonds.
I’m all for friendship before sexual relationships, I’m all for meeting the woman and befriending her, not as a means of conquering her through that, but as a mean of knowing and assessing her potential, whether as a girlfriend, as a friend, as a possible wife, you name it. Friendship allows barriers to be lowered so that masks can be tossed away and we can face each other. Also, bonds are usually far more lasting if friendship is in its core.
Of course, the nature of the friendships requires honesty and the bonding requires a lot of time, concept that seems a little bit foreign (notice the irony) in today’s world. Yet, many people still apply for friendship before a sexual relationship, and one of the main reasons is fear of rejection. Making it blatantly obvious that you want to pursue something very different from casual friendship requires a lot of nerve, so it’s easier to fake interest in common friendship. I can understand that, although it’s often very hard for women to grasp the logic behind the decision. Still, the method is almost inevitably doomed from the beginning if there’s no real intention of befriending the lady. Yet, if there is, the end result may be the same if, by the time, you have made up your mind about her, she has already placed you in that “you’re not boyfriend material” zone.
The scenarios described above are quite known, in fact, they are way too typical, but they never cease to happen, much to the despair of men. And the idea of friendship at the core of a romantic relationship seems everyday more far-fetched, old fashioned and beta, a shame for those of us who believe in the idea of soul connection before physical connection.
I want to stress the importance friendship plays in a relationship, either factual or potential. I know most guys would react to a post like this with a sense of scorn or pity, when they wouldn’t react with a crafted response about the impossibility of friendship in the context of a romantic-sexual relationship, but I don’t feel I would be true to myself if I remained silent about what I believe to be a key to such bonds.
I’m all for friendship before sexual relationships, I’m all for meeting the woman and befriending her, not as a means of conquering her through that, but as a mean of knowing and assessing her potential, whether as a girlfriend, as a friend, as a possible wife, you name it. Friendship allows barriers to be lowered so that masks can be tossed away and we can face each other. Also, bonds are usually far more lasting if friendship is in its core.
Of course, the nature of the friendships requires honesty and the bonding requires a lot of time, concept that seems a little bit foreign (notice the irony) in today’s world. Yet, many people still apply for friendship before a sexual relationship, and one of the main reasons is fear of rejection. Making it blatantly obvious that you want to pursue something very different from casual friendship requires a lot of nerve, so it’s easier to fake interest in common friendship. I can understand that, although it’s often very hard for women to grasp the logic behind the decision. Still, the method is almost inevitably doomed from the beginning if there’s no real intention of befriending the lady. Yet, if there is, the end result may be the same if, by the time, you have made up your mind about her, she has already placed you in that “you’re not boyfriend material” zone.
The scenarios described above are quite known, in fact, they are way too typical, but they never cease to happen, much to the despair of men. And the idea of friendship at the core of a romantic relationship seems everyday more far-fetched, old fashioned and beta, a shame for those of us who believe in the idea of soul connection before physical connection.
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